funny quotes, just fun

Frasier Quotes

Joy, christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee deep in tinsel and wrapping paper, will utter those heartfelt words: 'Is this all I got?' Kelsey...

Forgetfulness quotes

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest,...

Football Gaffes quotes

Alan Brazil: "I was sad to hear yesterday about the death of Inspector Morse, TV’s John Shaw." TalkSport Co-Host: "John Thaw, Alan." Alan Brazil: "Do you know, I’ve been doing that all morning. John, if you’re listening, sorry mate." Alan Brazil I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country. Ian Rush On another night, they'd have won 2-2. Ron Atkinson (Ron commenting on a Valencia-Liverpool Match) The midfield is outnumbered numerically. Ron...

Football Quotes

Arsenal caress a football the way I dreamed of caressing Marilyn Monroe. Brian Clough Elton John decided he wanted to rename Watford and call it Queen of the South. Tommy Docherty [after Cantona attacked a fan mid 90's] Wasn't it good to see Eric Cantona back in action? Let's hope that this time he remembers that kicking people in the teeth is the Tory government's job. Tony Blair I'm enjoying every day. I've tried everything: duck's head, chicken's head, chicken's feet and bats and...

Fools quotes

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. Dave Barry You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. George W. Bush (spoken at a Washington Dinner, March 2001) A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Adams Any...

Foolish Quotes

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things. Alan...

Food Quotes

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy! Tommy Cooper Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time? Billy Connolly Most vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children. A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels sprouts never do. P. J. ORourke (The Bachelor Home Companion) Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese...

Florida Quotes

I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. George Carlin (Brain Droppings,...

Flirting Quotes

I'll flirt with anyone from garbagemen to...

Dyslexia Quotes

It's not easy having Dyslexia. Last week I went to a toga party as a...