Some Have Psychologists, Some Have Sportologists — I Smoke

Angel Cabrera

For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag…the pencil!

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

Jim Murray

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.

Ted Ray

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

Ed Furgol

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

Renee Hicks

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Hank Aaron

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

Don Adams

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.

Arnold Palmer

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.

Gerald R. Ford

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.

Leslie Nielsen

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.

H. G. Wells (Bealby, 1915)

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

Anonymous

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Bob Hope

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Billy Graham

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

Tim Allen

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf it’s almost a law.

H. G. Wells

Golf is like a love affair: If you don’t take it seriously, it’s not fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.

Arnold Daly

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Mark Twain

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

Winston Churchill

It’s still good sportsmanship to not pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny

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