funny quotes, just fun

Global Warming Quotes

Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs blaming the humans. Jay...

Genius quotes

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. Louis Aragon Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. Albert...

Diplomacy quotes

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Caskie Stinnett (Out of the Red, 1960) To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. Will...

Engineering quotes

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. Paul...

Electricity quotes

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. Tim...

Economics Quotes

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women. Art Buchwald If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they wouldn’t reach any conclusion. George Bernard Shaw A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last...

Earthquake Quotes

You know the two best places to be during an earthquake? Either under a doorway or at Hooters. Jay...

Cellphone Quotes

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. Neil...

Books Quotes

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen. Oscar Levant I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? Ronnie Shakes I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark. Steven Wright I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It's so frightfully good I've never bothered to read another. Nancy Mitford (Love in a Cold Climate, 1949) I'm trying to read a book...

Banker quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. -- Mark...