funny quotes, just fun

Gross Quotes

A neighbour put his budgie in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet. Chic Murray A 46-year-old doctor in Guernsey, England, has had to quit his job because he couldn’t stop having sex with his female patients. And here’s the scary part — he’s a veterinarian. Jay...

big bad wolf

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Future quotes

The future ain't what it used to be. Yogi...

Gynaecology Quotes

My body is falling so fast my gyaenacologist wears a hard hat. Joan...

Gaffe Quotes

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Funny Quotes

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said, 'Do you earn a living doing that?'. He said, 'Yes, this my livelihood'. Tommy Cooper How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? One hundred. One to change the bulb, and ninety-nine to say, "I could have done that." Norm Crosby Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it. Henry...

French Quotes

I wonder what the French say when they get Deja-Vu? Hattie Hayridge Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything! Steve...

Forgetfulness quotes

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest,...

Fools quotes

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. Dave Barry You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. George W. Bush (spoken at a Washington Dinner, March 2001) A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Adams Any...

Foolish Quotes

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things. Alan...