funny quotes, just fun

Government Quotes

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. Ronald Reagan Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. Bill Maher Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's medicine...

Gold digging Quotes

I'm sick of everyone saying I married my husband for money. It just so happens I get turned on by liver spots. Anna Nicole...

Gaffes Quotes

[subsequently sacked over this remark] David Beckham won't go to Newcastle after what the Toon Army did in Asia. Rodney Marsh Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country. George W. Bush I would like to spank director Spike Jonze. Meryl Streep (Meryl misreads a faxed acceptance speech at the 2003 Baftas) It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should buy a plane ticket and go somewhere hot...

Games quotes

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping. Cecil Adams (on the game Dungeons and Dragons, from Straight...

Film making Quotes

Film-making, like sex, isn't a polite enterprise. It involves a lot of mess, sweat and tears, and the bottom line is, if somebody ain't screaming, you're not doing your job. James...

Film Quotes

[The First Wives Club] had strong American values: divorce, alcoholism, plastic surgery and revenge. Bette Midler Jim Cameron and I have just decided we're going to do another Terminator. The title will be The Sperminator: I'll Come Again. Arnold Schwarzenegger (in 1991) I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden. Steve Martin There's no drugs, no Tom in a dress, no...

Famous quotes

Beauty is in the heart of the beholder. H. G. Wells For the female of the species is more deadly than the male. Rudyard Kipling As you think so you are - As you Imagine so you become! Unknown Those who can do, those who can't teach. George Bernard Shaw A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. Mark Twain Experience is a...

Fame Quotes

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. Alan Alda [Fame] makes you feel permanently like a girl walking past construction workers. Brad Pitt You know, it's funny. Everyone thinks being an actor is like being a rock star, with women barging down your trouser door. But it could not be more different. I ride to work every day on my motorbike and there's never anyone at the studio gate. Every morning I arrive and think, 'Where the f**k are...

Experts quotes

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. Sam Ewing (Readers Digest, 1992) Whenever there is a simple error that most laymen fall for, there is always a slightly more sophisticated version of the same problem that experts fall for. Amos...

Directing Quotes

Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision. Robin Williams Directing Marilyn Monroe was like directing Lassie. You needed fourteen takes to get each one of them right. Otto Preminger I don't think he could direct his nephew to the bathroom. Dyan Cannon (on Otto Preminger) Directing her was like directing Lassie. You need 14 takes to get each one of them right. Otto Preminger (on Marilyn...